Sunday, 29 September 2019

The Annotated Bible Reading Plan

Proving God is a douche, one day at a time.


Nine years ago I started a blog with a mission.

Actually, let's start earlier.

At the back of the bibles my Lutheran high school gave at graduation was a bible reading plan with a different passage for every day of the year.

Actually, let's start earlier.

From an early age, I was drilled in the power and mercy of the Christian God. Skip forward thirty-something years, after several failed careers and several failed relationships, the only thing that didn't seem to be quitting on me was the inexplicable spinal pain I suffered every waking moment.

I was ready and willing to comprehensively pick apart what little faith I had. The bible reading plan at the back of my graduation bible was a good roadmap. I would follow this pilgrimage through the word, and day-by-day sharpen my scorn for God. (Yeah! Take that, Jehovah!) The blog would keep me accountable.

It's time to erase that blog. No particular reason. Just cleaning up.

But before I do, I just want to capture the last part of the last post. 

“The bible is not what anyone says it is.”

For me that means: it is not cohesive or consistent. It does not evidence God’s fairness or mercy. The New Testament ideals of love and fellowship were not novel, even at Jesus’ time, and are rather shallow in his expressions. Even Jesus, the proto-bearded-hippy-rebel, comes across at various times as conservative, erratic, and a slick-tongued charlatan.

But what you were taught in Sunday School is different to what I was taught in Sunday School. Following the Plan was more about examining and articulating my own beliefs than trying to work out what the Bible was attempting to communicate. The bible has been more a mirror than a window. Rather than tell you what to expect from your own Annotated Bible Reading Plan, I urge you to do it yourself.

You have nothing to be afraid of. I abused God steadily for 365 days. I’m still alive. In fact, I am in Tokyo. It is snowing. Now I’m off to get married to someone who has supported me through this zany work.

Update: Four days later we got smashed by the M9.0 earthquake but got married the day after. We're still married. I've had another failed career, but a few investments that remained successful. I've unraveled much of my puzzling pain.

My God is still a douchebag.

And that's okay.

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